Father's day..

I got a phone call on the 2nd of January, it was from one of my dad's old business partners, he thought I should know that my dad had passed away on the day before, new years day. Oh, I said, right.. Well, yeah, thanks for letting me know, was I going to go to the funeral he asked? No, probably not I replied, but what about the will he asked, what about it I replied, I'm sure if there was anything there for me, I'd find out about it. It's now June 15th, it's fairly safe to assume he hasn't left me anything.

Wow Lino, that's cold. Yeah, it probably is, let's go over the memories of my father shall we?

Me, 4, being woken up by shouting, going to the upstairs landing to see my father at the top of the stairs with a hastily packed suitcase in his hand, my mother at the bedroom door in floods of tears, me grabbing the suitcase, starting to cry and trying to stop him.

Me seeing him, maybe a handful of times, literally no more than 6 or 7 that I can remember, once to see Superman, once to see The Black Hole, I remember I got a Speak and Spell on that trip, and once more when I stayed the night at his place, sleeping on the floor and watching The Reptile on the television. That was it. Didn't pay the child maintenance that he should have even though he could well afford it, running a successful bakery out of a factory in Wembley Park.

He got in contact with me again when I was around 22, wanted to see me, how about he took me to dinner? Why not I thought, he picked me up in a Mercedes from where I worked at the time, near Watford, we went for an Indian meal, as I was waiting for the first course he told me he wanted half his money for the family home. Oh, right, well, I'd better get a mortgage then eh? Saw me a couple of times after that, went to his house, met his new wife and my half brother and sister who were no older than 5 and 3 at the time, picked me up from work another couple of times after that, while the mortgage was being sorted out, got his money, saw him one more time when his new family had moved to a new house, then that was it. He didn't give me his new number, knew were I was, hell, if his business partner knew our phone number, why didn't he?

Years went by, my half brother and half sister friended me on Facebook, that's nice, no malice towards them, was I slightly bitter when I saw postings that one of them had been enrolled in college in Miami? Honestly, yes, for about three seconds. But hey, that's life right?

Every so often I'd check on my dad on Facebook, yep, he was on there, did he ever make any attempt to contact me? No, but then either did I him.

And now he's not here anymore, and I had to find out through an old work college. Did I go to the funeral? No, but then again, no-one from the family got in contact with me to let me know where it was or when, but to be honest with you, even if I did know, I don't think I would have gone, what would have been the point? I wouldn't have known anyone there, and it was clear that no-one wanted me there.

ANYWAY, there, don't really know why I've posted this, still have no feelings for him even though he's not around, it's all very easy to say "Well, what a shit!", but was he? I don't know, people fall out of love and split up all the time, I'm not unique, when I pray, and you know, I do pray, he's in my prayers and I say that I forgive him.

What else can I do?

And that's gotten that off my chest.

Thanks.

The best Batman movie..

Is without doubt Batman & Robin. Why?

Well..

This..

And this..

There will be no discussion on this matter.

Procrastination..

I'm forever looking for distractions to keep me occupied so there isn't ever a moment I can allow my brain to start "Thinking" about things, is that normal? I don't know.  I do know that "Thinking" about things invariably ends badly. No good can come of it, I'll tell you that for nothing.

It's Dappy!

I love Big Brother and Celebrity Big Brother.. Always have, I make no apologies for that, it's not fashionable, but then, neither am I.

Here are two pictures..

Firstly, the Dappy.

Secondly, a horse.

Let's face it, if any of us was a horse, we'd want to kick Dappy in the stupid face too. 

It's like this..

A lot of the time I'll just slap random thoughts up on my Twitter feed but a lot of the time 140 characters just aren't going to cut it. What to do? Go back to Livejournal? Nah, that was a lifetime ago. Blogger it is then. How often will I update it? Who knows. What will be on here? Who knows! Anyway, if you've just stumbled across this, hello.. If you've followed the link from my Twitter page, sorry!